Some people today live with the idea it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Their impulsive choices bring chaos not only into their own environment but also for many others who care for them.
So often I witness unhappy situations involving the worldview that because you love someone you need to do whatever you can to make that individual’s life easier – even when they aren’t eager to make great choices. The end result is that you pay a price and the other person never has chance to learn because there just are no consequences for them.
I remember the day he said “When you are working harder than your customer, you are working too hard”. This also applies to the times that we work harder on the issues of family or friends than the person who is directly involved.
Are you involved in:
Telling lies or covering up for someone who isn’t fulfilling their responsibilities?
Allowing another individual to physically or verbally abuse you?
Experiencing neglect once the person doesn’t follow through on their promises?
5. Responding to manipulation or needs from someone who thinks you are the “unpaid help”?
sting the other person will start thinking and behaving appropriately even when they’ve never done this consistently?
8. Cleaning up cluttered situations for somebody else over and over again?
9. Ignoring your long-term needs and wants in sacrifice for a person’s short-term catastrophe?
10. Losing sleep and feeling obsessed with things which you can’t change?
Well, love isn’t enough! We can’t change other individuals. They change when life doesn’t work for them anymore. Perhaps your actions done in the spirit of love are now preventing them from facing the scenarios which will lead them to adulthood. You can love them but you will need to understand clearly where you stop and they begin.
If you can identify with any of the things on the above list, you need to consider other choices. You can learn how to establish healthy boundaries that will not just help you, but also help the other person to develop! Meeting with a trained professional will provide you the tools you require.